To Whiz or Not to Whiz?

I came home this morning just in time to see my neighbor taking a whiz in his front yard. He’s 85 years old. OK or not OK?

Yes, he has working toilets in his home. I’d guess at least four of them within 50 yards of where I saw him standing.

Still, I say OK. At that age, you’re entitled to save yourself a few steps, feel the open air on your wand… But maybe he can step to the side or back of the house? And maybe find a tree or other obstruction to get at least partially behind? That way, I wouldn’t know for sure what I was seeing if I happened to see it at all.

My husband’s reaction to my sighting was so what. “Men can go anywhere,” is his creed.

This made me think of the charming custom of men pulling it out on the golf course. They kind of meander into the wood under the guise of looking for a ball. OK or not OK? I don’t know. I’m not a prude. Frankly, I wish it was so easy for us ladies. I say OK. But, guys, don’t act like we don’t all know what you’re doing in there among the evergreens. These dudes think when they turn their backs to you, you can’t see them. Just like when they were kids and covered their eyes during a game of peekaboo. We can seeeeee you…… So please, get in there good past the white stakes. We’re not really interested in seeing your balls on the course.

So that brings me to my real question. What about toddlers? The question came up recently with my grandson. One day when Jake was out with dad, the little guy had to pee. So his dad taught him it was OK to go outside. It took some getting used to; Jake is pretty proper. He’s a rule-follower. But once he peed in the open air a few times at his dad’s urging, he discovered he really rather enjoyed it. So, to the horror of his mom, he’d whip it out in the parking lot of the grocery store and at a backyard party. Anywhere, really. It didn’t matter. He loved his new-found freedom. And it meant we all had to pay attention when we were outside with Jake.

I guess when you gotta go, you gotta go. But perhaps we can agree to teach our children there are some things best done out of eyesight. And splashing range. Don’t even get me started on nose picking and flinging.

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